Which brings me nicely to Jeremy Idiot Wade. I put my hands up, I was an idiot to have watched it, a mistake I shan't make again but I haven't watched any of his tosh for quite a while now but, with the dearth of anything to watch of late, when I saw it listed I pressed record on the planner. Oh how I wish I hadn't.
I have never seen the like, wide eyed Jeremy interviewing a 'survivor' who'd had a lamprey latch on to him. "It was fast and aggressive", said the man who oddly had no scars to show. Me, I'd love a lamprey scar to show off, how cool would that be, almost unique and if one does ever latch on to you here's a tip, hold it behind the head and gently pull it off, its a lamprey not a badger. Incidentally most fish can swim faster than a human and I think that 'aggressive' is perhaps an inappropriate word for what is a parasite rather than a predator. The alleged incident occurred on a lake in the States where, due to its geography, the lamprey numbers have grown to an imbalance and their numbers are vast. How have the authorities dealt with this situation? They have created traps so that returning lamprey are caught and dispatched. This slaughter passed without further comment from J I W.
Being hands on Jeremy had to get up close and personal with a live specimen. This is "Jeremy Wade fisherman, biologist"...... and idiot who makes lots of money by demonising fish. He entered the man made trap or as he put it 'descended into the concrete cave full of serpentine. slimy vampires' - give me strength, and we were given close ups of his curled lips and scrunched face as he oohed, urghed and blahhed at the sight and feel of the 'snakelike' bodies. Err, hang on, didn't J I W once cover his trousers with meat so that he could encourage large numbers of eels to surround him in a New Zealand river? Not too shy of the slimy or the serpentine then, nor when he fished for Snakeheads which really are quite serpentine. Do you suppose he was just doing this for effect?
Mrs B constantly reminds me that such programs are 'just entertainment' and maybe that is all it is but, what if somebody made a series of programs about how 'dangerous' our birds are and how they should be reviled? He'd be attacked in the streets by middle England who love their feathered friends. Well I happen to like fish and the Sea Lamprey is a special visitor to my local river where the males work together to excavate a 'nest' up to six feet wide and a foot or more deep into which the female joins them to continue the race, a race that is inexorably in decline. Once they have mated they are carried exhausted downstream to their inevitable death. They are docile and beautiful and no harm to man beast or fish whilst out of the sea but according to J I W they should be greeted by large groups of villagers carrying burning torches, pitchforks and clubs who would dispatch each and every one of them less they be attacked in their beds.
Jeremy Wade has become a mouth piece in the fishing world, he is famous across the world for this tosh and had brought the reputations of our fish into disrepute to a degree where the unquestioning public who believe everything on the telly is real will be too frightened to walk beside a trickle of water in case they are dragged into the depths by a gang of angry roach. A fish as ancient and unique as the lamprey deserves much, much more than being reviled for a few shillings by an idiot.
Ooh scary - not!
Bit liverish this morning Mr B?ReplyDelete
You are exhibiting all the traits of Victor Meldrew RIP, syndrome. I did watch the one where he fished at Chernobyl and that was, well just plain odd.ReplyDelete
Don't get wound up, do like me. Turn it off have a glass of vino and pick up a goof book.;-0
I read plenty and drink even more :o) but grumbling is fun Monty, give it a go mate.Delete
Oh dear I see that like myself,you also had the misfortune of watching the Lamprey episode too Dave, great wasn't it................. It did seem that it was scraping the barrel a bit, I switched off half way through.ReplyDelete
Next week the gudgeon :-DDelete
Yessling Ying said.......Yes, JW is becoming the new Homer.......that's Simpson, and not the other one who wrote the Illiad. Doh !ReplyDelete
An intelligent reference on my comments page :-o I may have it stuffed. Or as Shakespeare once said "Cheers aer kid"ReplyDelete
Some people are just jealous of someone else's success. Always been this way, always will. Suck it up and shut your IDIOT MOUTH.ReplyDelete
My "idiot mouth" comes with a name, pity yours doesn't.ReplyDelete
Interesting to note that the author of the "Idiot Mouth" post sent it at 12:30 at night, back from the pub and bored perhaps?ReplyDelete
Last time I commented on JIW I had a slagging off from some woman who no doubt has certain feelings for the gentleman, maybe its the same one. I've met JIW and believe me, I have nothing to envy about him.Delete
This became a rub off of a bunch of English idiots. The fact of the matter is he is tormenting goddamn precious fish. I love to angle but I don’t like seeing him peacock Them about as a bunch of treacherous animals that would murder as the pre-face would suggest.ReplyDelete