July 04, 2012

Technology Fail

The day started with an attractive black girl massaging my buttock with her pointed elbow followed by her placing her hand on my pubis - and mine on hers - as she demonstrated a breathing exercise. I've had worse experiences and, feeling frisky due to the movement in my back and leg (what did you think?) I headed for the river.

I started writing my diary only for the pen my run dry, I'm not sure whether pens count as technology but this was a day when such things were not running well. When I did catch a fish I decided to try out the remote shutter release on my new camera and the test shot went okay, all I needed to do now was to get my position right, hold a slippery fish whilst maintaining the correct position on a greasy slope and use my spare hand ( ! ) to operate the camera. It was a bit like rubbing your tummy with one hand whilst patting your head with the other but done on ice skates. I failed. Certain that I'd taken three or four decent shots I returned the fish only to find just one poor image with half the fish in it.

I rang Neil and we discussed the ongoing saga of his car, the garage and the replacement of a series of engine sensors that were needed to placate a temperamental engine management unit. Guess who'll be settling the bill. He then told me that the screen had broken on his mobile phone again and I decided to turn the conversation around to my fishing story when - phut! My phone died without warning and irrevocably. It was just one of those days when technology was playing up and I was glad I don't have a pacemaker.

For the record I had two chub, one of which was easily five pounds and a barbel of ten pounds five ounces so it wasn't a complete failure.


  1. I got 4 versions of this in my RSS feed young Dave. Anyhow may I just say that the first paragraph reads like a typical day for a least two of your readers; me and a bloke who lives in Surrey :-)

    I've been fishing myself for a few hours after work hence the ungodly hour of this post. I caught quite a few too.

    Always nice to have smile before bedtime.

  2. Sounds like a fine start to the day mate. Them bloomin' self-takes drive me mad...at least you've still got a camera though bud....nice (half) fish.

  3. Conrad, yes, I had a few problems loading this page and had to do it again from scratch - more bloody technology issues!

    Gurn, still hurting eh? I hope the Oxo tin wasn't stolen :-o

    1. The Oxo tin and esteemed contents are safe my friend.

  4. Dave, the look on your face tells the story perfectly ;-)

  5. Richard,

    Posting from beyond the grave eh?


    Your right about your T-shirts :-)

  6. Nice fish fella. Imagine the weight would have been more if it only had a tail!
    Style? “You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!”- Dolly Parton