June 29, 2010

Martin's manhood

My old mucker Martin Allen is working away from home in Liverpool at the moment. Just the thought of Dagenham's finest in the land of the Scouser makes me smile at the endless possible conflicts that it could raise. But it was someone else's fault that Martin's latest catastrophe occurred.

Stopping in the Travelodge, he was given a small room and was told that 'if it is too hot we will move you'. The question is, why put him in a 'hot' room in the first place. Anyway, returning to his boudoir Martin finds that it is hotter than the sun and opens the window the entire three inches it is allowed to open what with it being in the land of the opportunist.

Still sweltering he takes a cold shower and is happily laying - stark bollock naked - on the bed with his laptop on his chest, legs wide open to get a draft on his tackle when the door opens and an older couple stand looking at a little blob of white flesh. They had been given the same room by the receptionist.

It takes more than a woman seeing Martins pride and joy to faze him but he was concerned that the lady in question may have been upset and he passed on those thoughts to the management.

He was also quite relieved that they had not entered his room a few minutes later as he was about to don the headphones, look up his favourite site and have a personal moment - if you catch my drift ;-)


  1. Glad you posted that Dave. I was meant to phone Martin last week but forgot. Will do it now.

  2. Dagenham ?

    Ask him if,he uses a "Corn Beef Tin Key" to open his front door,of his house.;-)

    An old joke from over that way.